I had the opportunity to practice loving-kindness on a family member over the weekend. I was is Canada for a wedding and saw family members I haven't seen in years. Naturally with families there is good and bad, well the bad is that one family member have a problem with abusing alcohol. Several emotions were expressed by other family members, frustration, anger and disappointment to name a few. The one emotion I thought was needed was not expressed, compassion. I sat in the distant observing and realized that alcohol was the surface problem, there is much more that was much deeper than the alcohol. We went to talk by ourselves and he vaguely touched on some of the thing that I think contributed to this behavior, unfortunately alcohol is the best way he knows to numb the pain. Of course I do realize, he has a serious problem and needs professional help, but just being able to talk with him and offer compassion, and reassuring him that I don't love him any less because of his problem, and, although I am miles away, if he needs to talk, I am phone call away. It broke my heart to see him like this, and I only hope that he realizes that he has a problem and gather the strength to get the help he needs before it's too late. I discovered that I've developed my listening skills and I am able to be more objective about situations. I also realize that we each are very different individuals, and have different ways of handling the same situations.
I've chosen to focus on the biological aspect of my life with the emphasis on nutrition which is the cause of much difficulty. The line of development that is most essential for me at this time is to find a way to stop sabotaging my weight loss efforts. I am aiming at maintaining the food journal I started several months ago to realize my eating patterns and the emotions associated with then. I am giving myself a week to get the momentum back to start journaling, I need to channel my energy elsewhere when I feel the need to eat even when I am not hungry. I believe that journaling my feelings will help to realize the emotions associated with times I eat mindlessly.
I am glad that you were able to show some compassion to this person. It is easy to pass judgement, and you had some clear peer pressure to do so. He is lucky to have you in his family. As for your weight loss journey, making a food log is a great idea. It will hold you accountable for what you eat. I am trying to lose weight, as well, but my problem is not food so much as excercise. I use a food log,and it really keeps me on track. Try making detailed grocery lists, and do not buy junk food, or convinience items, that will help a lot. Journaling will help a lot too. That is a great idea! Good Luck!
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